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Guns

5 Guns That Make Zero Sense

I’m not a firearms expert.  Not even close.  But like all modern Millennials, I have opinions.  My opinions are my own and I realize that they mean about as much as that silly trucker hat you wear to impress your equally worthless peers.

The firearms market has exploded in the last 8 years, thanks in part to a rise in unfounded fears of a zombie apocalypse and more importantly, very well founded fears that our sacred right to bear arms is in danger of falling within our lifetime.  It’s been said that Barack Obama is the firearms salesman of the year, 8 years running.  It’s hard to deny the impact a liberal presidency has had on the growing firearms market.  At the same time, the sunset of the Federal Assault Weapons Ban in 2004 reopened a stagnate market for both gun sales and firearms innovation.

This is where my worthless opinion finds it’s genesis.  Some of the designs spawned by this golden age of the gun culture can only be characterized as red headed step children (no offense to the soulless gingers out there).  I’d like to take a moment to recognize these bastards of the gun family.  These are guns that exist for no other reason than that perhaps we have run out of good ideas, or because the principle that the more it costs the more people want it, even if it’s ugly and serves no useful purpose.

Number 5:  Keltec KSG 12  

Yet another failed bullpup

Yet another failed bullpup.

Never has a gun been so disappointing after it’s initial hype than this plastic double magazine shotgun.  A bullpup design is a challenge for any platform, but it also very appealing if it can be done right.  Moistening the wet dreams of home defenders everywhere, the KSG promised a compact and ergonomic design that packed enough firepower to kill the bad guy and all his relatives without having to reload.

Pick the one right tool – Buying and using the right gear for the job

One of my favorite movies of all time is No Country For Old Men.  I’m not a critic and I’m not going to try to be one by describing the movie with nerdy terms that I don’t understand.  I just really love the movie.  Javier Bardem plays Anton Chigurh, a murderous psychopath with a very protestant work ethic.  He will not stop until he feels the job is done, which basically means killing just about every one on the cast list.  There is one scene where Chigurh is questioning the management decisions of his employer and he says something that has stuck with me ever since the first time I saw this movie. “You pick the one right tool.”

You pick the one right tool for the job, and the job will get done right.  Now I am all about improvisation.  Under pressure I’ve put together some truly imaginative solutions to problems that I probably wouldn’t believe if someone told me.  But improvisation should only ever arise from necessity, from shit actually hitting the fan, from the moment at 2am on the side of a remote highway when your radiator hose has split open and all you have is a sock, some bubblegum and a condom.  Masters do not rely on improvisation.  Masters pick the one right tool for the job.